what do I really want
ive been asking myself this a lot lately. like I could get into stenography and I would be super good at it, but I think it's socially isolated. I could go back to school to be a therapist, but that is a TON of schooling. both of those trade offs I'm okay with, but I am just having such a hard time committing to anything.
I accidentally ghosted an interview this week because I was so overloaded with everything going on. it's stressful to have done something like that :( I'm doing my best but everything is just all over the place...
Elias is doing really well w his medical treatments. I'm very happy 😍 I know it's really tough and tiring for him. it is that two hour appointment along with that four hour round trip drive twice a week, and then he insists on trying to work after, when the treatments themselves have been super intense and physically draining too haha.
he sent me a super nice message this morning telling me he appreciates me being willing to all this and how understanding I've been. but of course I am!! he needs medical treatment, the idea of not being there for him is so foreign to me. when he told me how intense it was going to be my response was just "no worries, put it on the calendar so I know when it is and let's do it" because he's the love of my life & my partner. there's very little I wouldn't do for him let alone something as simple as a long drive twice a week and a few hours of wait in between.
well, there's a lot of other stuff going on. I'm starting to get overwhelmed haha. the task for the weekend is to sit down and do the nearly hundred (!) page application for this job I applied to. they are asking me a lot of personal info, it feels kinda like when I got my top secret security clearance before. they asked me for 7-10 contact info of people I knew for character references, and I'm like, not me being disqualified from this job for being friendless ðŸ˜
I'll try to remember to post when I can. the days are starting to blur into each other, none of my interviews have been the perfect fit, and I'm just all over the place... ughhhh.